No I am not leaving, that is just what Dallas said at the funeral yesterday. On Wednesday night after the viewing Scott and I were hungry and we were talking about going to grab something to eat and then Dallas said he was hungry to. So we all loaded up dressed up as we were and took Dallas to Hamilton's. He said he had never eaten there before so we decided to go since we were all dressed up. The hostess was nice and asked what we were celebrating. Scott just whispered to her it was a funeral and boy did she feel bad. It wasn't her fault how was she suppose to know? Anyway we had a great dinner and Dallas was deffinately hungry, LOL. We had a great talk, boy do I love that boy!! We enjoyed his company sooo much. So as we were getting ready to leave and I think we spent the entire dinner talking about his Dad, but I think he just needed to talk, so we just listened, Scott was quiet most of the time then at the end he told Dallas when his grandma died she told him not to say goodbye to her, just say "see you later" because in reality that is all it is, a see you later. So while Dallas said it was me that told him that it was Scottie.
What a beautiful funeral. My Craw relatives sang like angles, as did the little kids who sang as good as they could. My kids took it so seriously that they were singing for Uncle DeLoy and I told them I was sure there were other spirits there also helping us through and they needed to sing good for them and I think they did great. It was nice to hear Jenny and the girls talk and Dallas. He was so concerned that he say the right things, and I told him there was nothing wrong he could say about his dad. Wow I cant' believe I am still crying.
That brings up another interesting point. While I am sad about DeLoy and yes I did cry, but I was able to hold it together mostly because I believe. I believe DeLoy isn't "dead", I believe he is in Paradise enjoying his relief of pain and suffering, I believe he is waiting for us, I believe he is enjoying reunions with family that has already passed, I believe he is there to prepare a way for us and I believe he is there so when it is my time I won't be afraid because he is there.
I do believe it interesting though that no matter what my Uncle did to me as far as jokes or riding 4-wheelers in the desert I trusted him 100%. Some may call it a child's trust, but I will alwasy be a child to him looking up and trusting like he could do no wrong, that is how I felt about Uncle DeLoy. I would jump on a 4-wheeler or a motorcycle with him in a heartbeat and never doubt I was safe, and believe me I did it a few times and afterward Scottie was like "I can't believe you jsut did that" because I won't ride on a motorcycle with him but I would with DeLoy. I used to love going for rides on his Dakati before he sold it. Heck, I would put my kids on that bike with him, and believe it or not they all got to ride. Because of the trust I had in him I know that when it is my time and he is there all he has to do is reach out his hand and I will take it and follow him wherever with no doubt in my heart I will be safe.
My Uncles were great at teh funeral with the prayers they offered and how they stoically carried the casket from teh church and then at the cemetary. The dedication was beautiful and I was privilaged to some of those rare moments seeing Uncle Bill and Uncle Scott hugging each other. It was tender and made me cry all over again.
No matter how different we are as families (and believe me we are different) we are still family. We love each other, through it all. Some days it may not seem that way but I know that any of my Aunts or Uncles would come to my aid if I just asked, and it is comforting to know that.
I love you all.