The New Year

So I am kind of up in the air about the whole New Year's resolution thing.  I have some for me personally and then Scott and I have a few as a couple.

For me I want to continue to attend the gym and go even more.  I find I really have a "purpose" if I get up and get to the gym, it seems to get me going for the day.  I am sure I would see more results though if I changed my eating, but I will work on that slowly.  I find it enlightening now that I was able to play the dance game on the Xbox today and was only very slightly winded, not sweaty or felt like dying, last year the Wii kicked my butt, so progress is there, just slow. 

I also want to work on finding a hobby for myself.  Reading is not a good hobby so I need something extracurricular, so here I come.  I could use some ideas.  I am not crafty, so it has to be something that I would not feel inept at.

I am gonig to start grocery shopping with coupons.  I refuse to be a "crazy cupon lady" but I am going to be sensible and utilize offers for items that I buy regularily.  This is totally new for me and I hope it works out.

As a couple we are going to buy a home this year.  That is a big one.  Also we are going to make it a point to go on our first "couple" vacation.  Everytime we have gone on vacation it has been family orientated, which is fine and we have ALWAYS visited family, so this year we want to go somewhere as a couple taht has nothing to do with visiting family, so this ought to be interesting.  Scott even said he would consider actually flyuing on a plane, woo hoo.

As a family we are going to work on keep the house more picked up.  The kids are more than old enough to do this.  And they do pick up after themselves, but we are going to put more responsibility on them cause I am tired of feeling like I clean something to turn around and do it again.  If people would pick up then it would stay cleaner longer right?

I hope these are all resolutions that we can keep.  They seem practical to me and within grasp.  Have a great New Year everyone.

Help I have lost myself....has anybody seen me?

So I am feeling "lost"  It seems that for so long (since before DeLoy died) that I have been spending all my time taking care of my family at home or my extended family who is in need.  It has literally been years and can I admit that I am getting burned out? Does that make me a bad person? I hope not. I don't feel like a bad person, but i catch myself praying that things slow down.  That life slows down. I have not had a paying job in over a year and ironically enough I feel like I have been busier this last year than when I did have a job. I liked having a job. It got me away. It let me interact with the public, I felt normal.  I am suppose to be the Humanitarian Aid leader in our Ward, but honestly I have no more time to give.  In order for me to give time to that project and try to motivate a bunch of ladies who haven't done any humanitarian work in YEARS I have to either take that time from my family at home or extended family.  Guess what? My extended family needs me more, especially with my mothers new cancer.  I was talking to my Relief Society President the other day and I said "any project I put together, no one participates and I do the entire thing myself." If I had teh capacity to donate and serve in a humanitarian way I would.  I told her what had been going on and what I was doing.  She said I was doing exactly what I needed to be and they need to release me cause when given the calling it was not taken into account my previous committments.  But how was she to know what this year held? 

So back to lost Charity......

Who is this lady? What does she like to do? Who are her friends? Does she have any hobbies?

Well I am going to be honest and say that I am not sure exactly who Charity is right now.  I am 30 ish and deffinately different than I was before, but I have gotten sidetracked and kind of lost my love for a lot of things.  I spend so much time catering to other people that I don't remember what I used to be like.

What do I like to do? Well I am an avid reader, and this is good and bad.  I read and I read fast. I get lost in books, but maybe that is because I need the break and that is teh only way I know how to get it right now.  I will read instead of do housework. I even read in teh bathtub.  Whenever I think that I shouldn't read so much I freak out.  Sounds like I have an addiction huh?

Who are my friends?  Now let's clarify friends, I am refering to friends outside of my immediate family.  So my mother, sisters and grandma don't count.  I have 1 friend, she is moving to Utah next week.  I am so excited to have her around. I miss friendship so much. I have a million acquaitances but alas, friends I can count on one hand.  I don't seem to fit in with the ladies in Millville, except for the non-member lady on teh corner who I enjoy a lot and I look past her drinking and smoking because we all need friends right?  Maybe it will turn into more than neighborly and we can truely be friends......maybe.

Do I have any hobbies?  Well sure my hobbies are whatever anyone else is doing in the family. So I am learning how to snowboard right now.  Do I like it? Not particularily but I will conquer it so I am not left out. I also ride 4 wheelers.  Do I like it? Kind of, but I do it to spend time with Scottie.  Cooking? Well lately it's been more of a chore than hobby.  Honestly after 15 years of being married, I am tired of figuring out what is for dinner, so if we have spaghetti more than 1 time a week, you know why. Reading? well it is more of a obsession used to "get away". Going to the gym? I hate going to the gym, but it is good for me and Scott goes so I do to spend more time with him.  See what I mean? I have no idea what I would like to do for a hobby.  I have no personal interests, sucks huh?

Well so this year, as we move forward I am working on myself.  I want a hobby. I want a friend (that one will be easy, she will be here the day after Christmas) I want Scott to do something with ME because I like it and I am passionate about it.  I will figure out who Charity Renee Kidman is and then I will be a better person because of it.  I wish I could say that I would stop giving myself completely to other people, but I am not sure that will happen because my mother will need me this coming year to help get through chemo, but we are going to cross fingers and toes that that is the end of our family drama.

Not lacking in content just motivation....

So there has been a lot going on in my immediate and extended family since the Holiday season began it just boggles my mind. 

First off Thanksgiving was great.  Thanks for all of those that attended whether it was for dinner or dessert. I love putting together get-togethers and cooking for a lot of people. The turkey was great and so was all teh side dishes, we could have served 50 haha.  It was great seeing everyone, I only wish I could have stayed longer to visit more and help more cleaning up but we had other family I had put off to do this dinner.  We really enjoyed our break until Saturday after Christmas when Uncle Scott was rushed to the hospital having suffered a heart attack.  This just made me sad. I was sad for his family and my extended family. We have had a rough couple of winter seasons and it would be nice to have one, just one where something major didn't happen to/in our family.  Oddly enough I was right behind that ambulance that saved my Uncle Scott that night talking on the phone to my husband Scottie and I asked him if he was ok because there was an ambulance going our directions.  Kind of ironic.  That next Monday I started working at Ellis Equipment in place of my Aunt Vickie.  I must say I have enjoyed the distraction but my Aunt is much better at it than I am because I can't sit at a desk and answer phones with nothing else to do. I guess I am spoiled but I need constant work for 8 hours or I loose my mind.  It has been great getting to know the Ellis guys (cause I am the only woman there) and they have been very understanding and gracious to my and Aunt Vickie while she goes through this hard time.  Imagine my surprise when my grandmother calls me the next Friday evening asking if I was out shopping at 9:00 at night (which I was at Al's midnight sale) and Emily had taken Lydia to the ER and could we possible swing by and get Mallory and bring her to grandma's house?  Lucky us we were out and about so we left Al's and did that for them.  What a family!!  They made it through. Lydia had her appendix take out 2 days later and Uncle Scott made it through his surgery and they are all on the fast track back to full health.  I realize this was my extended family but it is hard to hear of people you know going through such things in this season and I spend so much time with Grandma and Grandpa that when they worry and stress over the family I do also cause I hate to see how much it worries her and makes her get ill cause of it. 

Well the next Friday the 3rd of December my mother went into the doctor with a suspicious lump in her breast and guess what?  You guessed it......cancer.  She has invasive ductal carcinoma, level 3.  So she has a 1 inch square (almost) lump in her milk duct that is the most aggressive on the scale of how fast cancer moves, 1 being slow and 3 being fast.  Yup, what a blow.  So this monday she is going into surgery to have a masectomy of her right breast and any lymphnodes and after 4 weeks of recovers back to Chemo. we go.  UGH.  The oncologist who was the same one who took care of her previously said if the multiple meyloma (her lukemia) did not kill her than breast cancer certainly wouldn't either.  It is hard to realize that a few years ago, maybe 5 or 6 we were told that my mother had terminal lukemia and our best hope was to push it back and give her more time.  Well now it is dormant and we get to deal with this.  I know she will be fine, it's just the road to take to "fine" sucks.

Also (wow this is long) back in November my best friend from Colville was talking to me and her and her new husband were having a hard time getting good work in Washington and were getting to the point where they were going to be forced to move cause of lack of work. Well I had mentioned how there is plenty of work here in Utah for those who are willing to work and I was sure her husband would have no problem finding work and they could stay with us while they made the transition if they needed.  So Josh left his job at Walmart in Colville, packed up a Uhaul and was at our home the 1st of December.  Catina had to stay back to get loose ends tied up and get everything together and she adn the kids will be here right after Christmas.  In fact me and Bowen are flying up to Spokane on 12/26 to help her pack up and make the long drive back to Cache Valley.  They are so excited because Josh got a job the first day he was here and is now working for Autoliv full time and has a few interviews for some other great jobs in the coming weeks.  They are in such awe at how Josh has been accepted in Utah and the people have been great and the jobs he found are wonderful.  This is a great missionary opportunity for our family cause they want to attend church with us and learn more about our religion.

Whew.....we have been busy.  I hope you all have a great Christmas.  I know I will since it looks like everyone is going to be healthy and we all have a lot to be thankful for.  Here is a vide from Youtube of a flash mob singing the Halleujah chorus and it is beautiful, I still tear up when I watch it.  Enjoy
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SXh7JR9oKVE

Catching up.....Again

So sorry for the lag time.  I will try to be brief catching y'all up and it may seem all over the place, but if you know me, you know that is how I roll. 

Football is over.  Bowen's team got to play in post-season and played Kaysville and got beat, bad, they got really beat, oh well.  They weren't sad because last year they did not make the playoff's so they were so happy this year to improve so much.  I am glad it is over.  Basketball season is upon us but Bowen has made the monumental decision to NOT play, I repeat, NOT play basketball and would rather play tennis instead.  That is good with me, he is a good tennis player and Colton would like to play also.

Colton is turning 10 on Monday.  Poor boy, not because of the 10 thing, but because the weather is crappy and I am going into surgery that day.  Oh well, we will celebrate with family on Sunday or TUesday and Scott vows to take the kids and friends to the corn maze this week.  All Colton is waiting for now is snow so he can spend his winter shredding up Beaver Mtn.  Sounds like I will be spending multiple weekends in the Lodge at Beaver Mtn.

Rainee is doing well.  We are having some drama problems at school already, Her teachers will find her crying in the lunch room and saying all her friends won't sit with her, and said they dont' like her, so the teacher will talk to her friends and they all say they did not say that.  She is just making things up so people feel sorry for her.  I didn't think this kind of girl drama started until middle school, well maybe I was hoping it would wait until then.  She is having a hard time with friends cause she is really high maintence and honestly she does NOT stop talking.  We are working on taking turns when in a group.  Part of the problem is she really cannot hear when others are talking and will just break in so I am working on her watching people's faces to tell when others are talking.  HOnestly, she does not stop talking.  EVER.  She talks in her sleep, she talks in class all day to NOBODY, it is an intersting dilema we are still working on it.

Mason is doing well.  We call him Magoo cause he touches everything.  Great Grandpa started calling him Fingers Magoo, so we just shortened it to Magoo.  We love him and he is now not swearing anymore, crazy huh?  He picked up bad words when I had him in a large preschool and we have gone through every single swear word there is, ending with the F-word, and if we just tell him those are bad words and ignore him when he uses them he quits.  The end of the F-word was when he told Great Grandpa Elder to F off, and guess what?  Grandpa smacked him.  Good job to cause it worked and no more F word.  I can't wait for Mason to start Kindergarten next year.  He seems to be taking after myself and Bowen and has an excellent memory and can memorize songs off the radio after 1 or 2 times, same with primary songs, so he should excel at school.

Scott is doing great at his job.  He still loves it.  It has now officially been a year and he has been off probation for a few months and all is well.  He is shuffled all over Ogden to the different stations and he enjoys it cause he meets a lot of different people.  He is very often tired after work, but he gets a big week long paid break each month.  So each month it is like having 1 week paid vaction and unfortunately we treat it as such.  We need to stop doing that, but we seem to feel that we NEED to do something big-ish and family oriented each month.  I am hoping now the newness of this schedule will start to wear off and go back to life.  It always messes up our schedule when he does that.  He went elk hunting this year and got nothing.  He saw a bunch but had a spike only tag and only saw bulls.  This weekend is deer hunt and he is right now hunting in Blacksmith Fork Canyon for some meat for us for winter.

Charity.  I am hanging in.  I finally went to my OB again after some issues arised and decided that I needed ot have my cervix removed.  TMI I know but you are also saying, "didn't you have a hysterectomy?"  Yes I did and the doctor left my cervix.  Nobody really knows why but now, 2 1/2 years later I am having problems, so back under the knife I go, I will also be having 3-4 cysts removed and tested.  I am sure all is good and I am assured I should only experience a "slight bellyache" after surgery, we will see.  I was offered a job on Friday at a local accountats' office, and after my surgery I will go in and get details and see if I want it. Other than that it is life as normal.

Jr. Midget Football

Ok, I normally would not do 2 posts so close together but we had a big and busy weekend so here is more.

Bowen is playing football again this year.  Well what a difference a year makes.  This year his team is almost unstoppable.  I say almost cause the Sky View team did stop them but that is another story.  They are a powehouse and Bowen is key to the defensive line.  He is playing nose guard (i think that is what it is called) and he loves it.  He is also the team punter.  That was kind of a freak position but he is really good and his punts are long and far, I guess all that time kicking over the house and me yelling when he hit the house actually paid off.  They needed to beat Bear River on Saturday to be in 2nd place in the region and secure their place in the playoffs.  Well we had a great lead going into halftime.....3rd quarter was harsh and Bear River took teh lead 20-19 and we were desperate.  Since this age bracket does not kick field goals yet the only answer was another touchdown with 5 minutes left in the game.  IT took almost all of those 5 minutes but we got it.  We sat on teh 1 yard line for 3 downs and got penalty after penalty before we finally got our much needed touchdown.  We then had 30 seconds left with the kickoff to Bear River, which they attempted to run for a TD and i'll be honest we were scared, they almost made it, but we stopped them and then Bowen's tough defense was able to hold them for the last 30 seconds for us to win the game 25-20.  Here are some pics.  I am trying to be positive but post-season play COULD last 4 weeks.  I don't know if our team really really stands a chance in the playoff's but our coaches seem to think so, but I think coaches always think like that.  IF we make it all the way it would be 4 weeks more of play and that brings in the possibility of playing in the freezing cold and snow.  Is it bad if I silentely wish our team would loose?

Here are some pics.  Enjoy.

This weekend

Wow what a week and weekend we had.  First off Scott was on an 8 day break and was off work from Sat the 18th until tomorrow, Sunday the 26.  That is a lot of time off.  We are still getting used to his schedule.  It has been a year now and I enjoy it, but seriously have a weeks paid vacation off every month is crazy.  We feel like we need to do lots of stuff to make up for the time he is at work, so the time can get hectic.

The Ball:

So a few months back we found out it was time for the annual Lords and Ladies ball for Our Own Quiet Way Charity.  So we got together with 3 other couples and bought some group discount tickets with Tamy and Rick and started to get ready.  I have wanted to go to this ball for the past 2 years and finally I just got the tickets and said we are going.  Scott had to work but once he saw how important it was to me he traded his shift :)  Thanks Honey!!!  So he was off for work this week and decided he wanted to make his own costume, so Tuesday night we headed to Joann and went through pattern books and found what he wanted, it was a complicated pattern and he picked a very complicated fabric to work with, but he was not dissuaded.  We borrowed my mother's sewing machine (thanks mom) and started to work.  Now everybody I am very clear on this, I did NO work on his costume.  I cannot sew, my lines are crooked and I always, always mess up the machines and I also am a horriable pattern cutter cause my lines are never perfect.  So I sat back and cleaned house and silentely watched him lay out his fabric and cut and then sew.  In 4 hours he had an entire coat made.  A gentleman's coat.  It was beautiful, and people who know how to sew can appreciate that Scott is tall and has long arms so he had to alter the entire pattern for his height and it turned out perfect.  Seriously he didn't unpick anything, the first time and teh entire thing was great.  I guess my contribution was running to JoAnn to get stuff we needed.  I posted pics below but you can see how neat he looked. 

Now for my dress, well I picked out a dress pattern, a difficult one so I am told, and found a seamstress to make it for me.  I loved it!!  It was civi-war era, reminscent of Scarlet O'Hara and I am seriously in love with it.

So we could safely say there would be no one else dressed like us at the Ball, and boy were we right.  Tamy and Rick had beautiful outfits, so did the other couples in our group, but we stood out, and that was mainly cause of Scott.  Not only was he one of the tallest there, except for the stilt walkers, BUT he was so bright and dressed up from head to toe you couldn't help but notice him.  We had a great time and the weather wasd beautiful, especially since we were outisde most the time.  We ate food, watched ballroom dancers, magicians, acrobats, belly dancers and stilt walkers, oh and there was also a couple who were ghosts who would go random places and just freeze, I have a pic of them also.  We took pics and walked around for 2 hours and then it was time for the awards and promanad.  So 2 members of the committee came up to Scott at different times and asked him about his costume, where he got it, how he chose that and so on, and he told them he made it and he was having a great time.  Next thing we know another guy comes up to us and tells us we were selected for the Most Spectacular couple at the ball.  Another couple in our group, Dave and Amy, were also selected for Most Outrageous so we had an AWESOME group to hang out with.  We then danced........I was in heaven.  I did not attend prom while in High School so this was my dance.  Scott does not like to dance, so we never have.  It was great.  It was dark, nice music and an awesome looking man.  We swayed and held each other, but no kissing, really.....look at the pics his nose is huge and he NEVER took his mask off until we left.  Oh well :(

I wish I could put into words how much fun we had.  We are already planning for next year and will deffinately be regulars at the ball.  Please enjoy some of our pics.

Life as normal

So nothing big going on here.  Scott works and works and then when he has a day off, he works more, I am grateful that he works so hard for our family but sometimes I wish he could just slow down and enjoy the moments, I am hoping and praying this time comes soon.

The kids keep us busy with football, dance and scouts.  Mason is at that wonderful age that requires preschool but I can't find a good one near my home and I do not wish to drive him all the way into town to go home to just have to go and pick him up, that is almost more work that keeping him with me.  So a few days a week he goes to his old babysitter's house on Cliffside to play with his frineds for a few hours.  It seems to keep him happy and he doesn't feel left out with the school activities.  He is my only child not able to attend Head Start cause we are over income, oh I wish he could attend it, I loved head start.

Scott has to work Friday, Saturday and Sunday then he is off for 6 days and we get to attend the ball.  I am excited, and he is excited to not work for a bit.

I hope everyone is doing well and enjoying the fall weather.

Today......Tears

Hi Everyone......

Well I woke up today knowing it would be a hard day.  Knowing DeLoy died today and I figured I could hold it together, but I expected today to be an emotionally charged day and it was.  I was on edge most all of the day and cried at the drop of a hat.  Actually I started crying last night in bed.  What a boob.  So got up this morning and called Jenny and she wanted to go to lunch so got it all arranged with the family "girls" for lunch.  It was nice, but Jenny and I cried when we first got there, she gave me such a sweet card, I just love her, and then we both cried as we left.  I felt bad cause the people at Olive Garden kept asking what we were celebrating and we didn't know what to say, we weren't really celebrating more than "remembering" and it was a nice time.  Grandma said we would make this our own Memorial Day and hopefully keep it up for years to come, I think that would be nice.  Then I made it home and was upset, but not really, funny thing is I was upset at things that would normally not bother me at all, but I think cause of the day I let it get to me and I cried most afternoon.  I cried to Grandma, I cried to my mom, I cried to my hubby, and my sisters via email, see big cry baby.  Then I went and got my ball gown and it is beautiful and she is just making a few alterations, but I took my new cell phone and snapped some photos to share only to find out later I can't text them, have to put them on the internet and I don't pay for that, so no way to get pics off my phone so what did I do?  I cried again.  Now I have a headache cause I cried so much.  I went up and visited DeLoy and cried more, OH then I got an personal email from Dallas and just sobbed over that.  See I cried all day, now dinner is done, my head is throbbing and my legs are sore from a long 4-wheeler ride yesterday, so hopefully I am out of tears and going to have a calm night.

No pics but a funny story...

So we have a 4-wheeler in our family.  It is our newest addition and we LOVE it.  For Mason's birthday in June he got a little 110 4-wheeler, well he is afraid of it, so the other kids ride it and it is the perfect size for them.  Everyone was having so much fun we wanted one for ourselves.  So there happened to be a firefighter who had a nasty divorce and needed to get rid of his machine so Scott traded some shifts w/o pay for the 4 wheeler.  We have had it for about a month now and are totally in love.

So....we live at the mouth of Millville Canyon and we go up that canyon all teh time cause it is close, so after chores today I took Colton and Mason up the canyon about half way, it was a beautiful warm day, and about 3/4 of the way up the canyon I felt this bumping against my back and couldn't figure out what it was then Colton told me that Mason had fallen asleep.  Sure enough, that boy of mine had fall asleep in the middle of a 4-wheeler ride on a very very bumpy road :) I was shocked.  So we woke him up cause I needed to go back down the hill and needed him to lean back cause it bugs me to have him bumping into my back, and that little stinker refused to wake up.  We went down, down, down Millville Canyon with him asleep and bumping into my back the ENTIRE way, then if we woke him up he would scream at us, silly boy.

No you are not imgaining things.

Well so I ready Kristie's post the other day and I feel the same way.  I need to blog, I need my records and this is the best way for me.  After DeLoy's death I just had a hard time doing it, then I lost my job and I didn't want to do it and had so much crappy stuff that I didn't really have anything good to write about so I didn't.  I am going to spare you my summer drama....crap....I mean life, and just pick off right now.  All the kids are in school Bowen 7th grade, Colton 4th grade, Rainee 3rd Grade and Mason in preschool.  I actually get some "alone" time now and it is lovely, turns out I somewhat like doing housework more when it is quiet and I am alone.  I am sure I will NEVER enjoy cleaning house, but it doesn't suck as much when I don't feel pressured and I can listen to whatever music and loud :)

So Grandma and Grandpa Elder are looking to buy a home in Arizona and grandma wants and Ipad to take with her to read blogs.  They play on my Ipad a lot and think they are ready for their own.  So when she told me that I also thought i needed to blog again so she has something to read and see pics of my kiddo's.

This Sunday was a nice day, but I had a bad day at church and I came home crying and sobbing like a baby with my feelings hurt and a headache and feeling crappy, so after everyone else got home and I had sterilized my bathroom Scott wanted to go for a drive up Providence Canyon.  It was nice and we made it up to the 2nd gravel pit.  Up there is a nice waterfall.  The kids and Scott climbed up but Rainee had on flip flops and could not keep up, I teased her that she kicked in her 4-wheel drive when she had to climb with all 4 while the boys could do it just on their feet, poor girl :)  So here are some pictures, I hope you can get the idea of how large this waterfall and how steep it is and the fact that Scott and the boys made it to the top, even little Mason with the help of Daddy.  Hope everyone has a great Fall :)

Update

So I know you are all wondering, so i'll tell you.....Yup, I am still unemployed.  Sucks huh?  OH well. I am still getting unemployment, and the only reason I point this out is that my employer actually challenged my unemployment.  What?  Can't believe it huh?  Me either.  I was fired, blindsided, just so that the previous bookkeeper could have her job back.  Want to know what sucks even more?  She lives in my ward.  She got me the job cause she went and bought a business, so she was too stretched out on time and couldn't do it, so she actually recommended me when I moved into this ward in Millville.  Well her business wasn't as good as she had hoped so she asked for her job back.  So now why would they even try to contest my unemployment?  Well that was the same question the judge asked and then ruled in my favor.  So guess I am unemployed and legally getting unemployment since they did a crappy thing.  Oh well. 

I have been applying all around, at least 2 contacts a week is what is required from Utah State.  Unfortunately I am, in some instances, required to apply for jobs that I am grossly overqualified for, but it's the system right?  I had 1 job interview for Cafe Ibis which would have been fun if you could get over the constant smell of roasting coffee.  I made it to the final 3 but they offered it to someone else, which was fine with me.  I do have another interview tomorrow with Specialized Pest and Lawn Care (SPCLA) for their office manager.  It is full time from March - October, and then part time in teh winter months.  I think that would be great cause then it is more time at home over the holidays.  The ironic thing is I was their assigned bookkeeper while at my accounting job, which shall remain unnamed.  So they were totally excited I applied and wanted a interview immediately.  Tomorrow at 4:00.  So I will update after that.

I have been spending the past few months (wow it didn't seem that long) since I lost my job assisting in tax preparation for Grandma and Grandpa.  I have also been doing DeLoy's taxes for him and Elder Auto and for Cody and Dallas also.  Needless to say it has been a long long project.  Grandma and Grandpa switched accounts are are now at Jones Simkins.  This has been crazy but it has been good.  We are actually addressing issues that should have been addressed 20 years ago.  It has been funny cause I have been spending so much time at Jones Simkins we joke that it's just like I worked there again.  Now there is a light at the end of the tunnel and I can't wait to call it done.  Next year won't be bad cause now we have it all set up, but what a process!!

Scott is still working away at Ogden City as a Firefighter/EMT and he LOVES it.  He may be exhausted, but he is happy.  He enjoys serving the people down there and will be there for a long long time.  Even if he had the chance I doubt he would work at Logan cause it isn't as much action as Ogden.  He is also teaching a first responders class here in Logan and volunteers on the Nibley/Millville EMS squad.  He is the only working EMT on the crew so it is very beneficial for the area we live in.

All the kids are doing great.  Rainee got baptised in January and Bowen turned 12 in February and is now a Decon and passing the Sacrament.  I still can't believe it.  They all started snowboarding this winter and LOVE it.  We are now a winter sports family.  I can almost snowboard and will continue my education next winter.

Well that is us in a nut shell.  Busy busy.  Hope you all are doing well.

Guess I needed something to blog about.....

Yes it has been a long time.  Did you miss me?  Probably not.  Well this last week has been soooooo much fun I just wanted to share.  I know this is going to be long, but hang in with me ok?

So Scott started 8 day break last Sunday.  I know 8 days, it was AWESOME.  We did "Spring" cleaning in February.  Who knew we had so much junk, i mean stuff, that needed to leave our home and find a new one via the DI?  Wow!!  Anyway we spent 3 days sorting and organizing and going back and forth to the DI, then on Thursday we went snowboarding at Beaver Mountain cause it was Bowen's 12 birthday.  I have a 12 year old, how crazy and surreal is that?  Anyways for his bday he got outfitted for snowboarding.  He got pants, a cool coat, a used snowboard from a pawn shop and used boots from the DI.  He loved it.  So Thursday we took our kids and a friend and a niece to Beaver Mountain.  What a beautiful day.  I even hired my private instructor to teach me how to snowboard.  According to Scott we paid him to hold my hand for 2 hours, but I disagree.  By the end of my 2 very tiring hours (legs are out of shape) I am able to snowboard down Little Beaver backwards (on my toe side).  Yes I said Backwards.  I am all kinds of messed up, but in a short explaination my calf muscles are stronger than my quads so I am unable to stand up facing forwards on my board when I fall down.  I am only able to get myself up without help from my toes, so that is why I snowboard backwards.  I fully plan on torturing my quads into shape for the next few weeks so when we go again for Scott's Bday (in March) I may be able to actually see where I'm going.

So Friday we recover from Thursday cause I am sore.  I fell a lot but I took a few "flyswatter" falls on my bum and bruised both my right and left cheek (TMI I know) .  So Saturday rolls around and I am SUPER excited cause this is the day we leave for Wendover. 

Back in December Tamy decided for her 30th birthday she wanted a party with her family and friends in Wendover.  So she booked rooms and set the date.  I have been looking forward to this for sometime, and saving up for it.  So our day started with packing for our 1 night trip, but since the kids were going to Grandma Kathy's we all had to pack.  Then we dropped off our kids, waved goodbye, and very happily turned up the radio and left Cache Valley.  We stopped at Maddox for lunch, can I just say YUM, cause I knew the casino food sucks, and we were throughly stuffed and sated for our long drive.  Then we stopped at Amber's to see her.  She had surgery on FRiday and she was also in possession of the gift we bought Tamy.  We filled up with gas in Layton then we're off.  It was a beautiful day and we had a blast with that time to visit and talk like grown up's are suppose to do.

So we are literally just 1-2 minutes behind Tamy and Rick, but we never caught up.  Dang BMW is faster than our Tahoe.  We go to check in together to have the hotel not find our reservations.  SO while Rick is working that out we sat and just chilled.  Finally they found them and we were off.  Our rooms were nice and ours was very very purple.  Tamy's was teal, i am not sure which one was better, LOL.  Then off to the floor to play while we waited for dinner at 7.  We went to the Nugget and signed up for the poker tournament.  THat's right you all heard me POKER TOURNAMENT.  This is what I had been looking forward to.  One small fee gets you lots of chips and hours and hours of competative poker.  But first we had to have our birthday dinner.  RIck had reservations for us and all 25 people at the cafe with Rick once again picking up the bill.  THANKS RICK.  Scott and I had to leave a little early to get to our tournament on time.  We checked in and there was 75 people and only 3 girls!~!  I was a little nervous but once I got started I was unstoppable.  I took out so many guys it was almost laughable.  I even made it to the last table.  Now Scott was trying his hardest but only made it to the 3rd table.  So I am playing and having a blast.  It took over 2 hours, but I ended up coming in 6 place.  I can't believe it 6th place!!  The bummer is they pay $$ to the first 5 places, so I was soooo close to getting some extra moola, but not quite.  So just to quote my brother-in-law Rick "I am still a looser" but it was sooooo fun loosing.

Scott and I hung around and played real poker until after 1 AM and then we hit our totally uncomfortable and lumpy beds.  I did win more and was up $100.  Here comes morning and it's breakfast with the group and then we go back to the Nugget with Tamy and Rick where Tam and I play Blackjack while Scott plays Poker until it is time for checkout at 11.  Tam was low on chips so I kept her in teh game for a while, then we both had enough to keep going.  Overall it was great.  Aside from the smoke, which made me cry the entire time, it was a great weekend.  THANKS TAMY AND RICK.  We will always remember the adult weekend.

So there, I had someting to blog about.

UPDATE.....Hallujuah.....Not Depression

More details but i'm not depressed.  THe meds I wernt on thinking i was depressed were BAD for me.  I am now back to myself and have tons to do to catch back up.  But we are now exploring a hormonal issue that may be related to my hysterectomy i had while livingin in Washington and forgot to tell my Family Doc.  So on monday I am going in to tell him that I messed up.  This isi great news really.

My Hiatus

Ok, so it has been a long time since I have blogged.  So here is the short of a long story and why I am taking a break.  I am pretty positive I will resume my blogging once again I just need some time.

Yes the rumors are true, I am going through a little depression right now.  Yes I am getting help for it.  Yes I will be okay.  Yes my husband still loves me.  I like to point out the fact that I had 4 kids and 1 miscarriage and NEVER suffered any post-pardum depression.  This is the FIRST time in 13 years (can you believe it?) that I have ever had a problem such as this.  We will make it through.  With the help of the Lord, modern medicine, and family we will make it through.  So yes if I seem a little down it's cause I am.  If you are wondering where "chipper ole' charity" went?  Well she is still here somewhere, we are just working on getting her back out here.

So no comments on being sorry for me ok???  That isn't what I want to hear and it will just make me mad.  I am okay and I am working through it.  My sisters are helping, most of the time, JUST KIDDING!!  My husband still loves me and my kids think I am lazy and sleep a lot and let's be honest right now that is a pretty good description.  Oh and I did loose my job on Monday, so that did not help much either, and now my van is permanetly out of commission.

 So now it is literally hour by hour for me.  If I do not have a reason to move or do something I don't .  Right now I am getting kids ready for school then I will probably hit teh bed again.  Why you ask??  Well doesn't it sound like the best thing to do??  It does to me.

I will be back.  I know I will.  This cannot last forever.  That's what I tell Scott and I think he believes me, well I hope he believes me.

Thanks for understanding guys.